You always admire what you really don't understand.
Please love me or I'll be gone.
Jocelyn Tan
23 March 1994
i always fall for anything and everything
that i know its impossible for me to have them.
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Monday, March 31, 2008, 3/31/2008 09:01:00 PM
wat's happening to me?am i too sensitive?
every single little thing anger me! :(
i am so stressed and fed up la!
nobody cares, they jus say wat they think,
not even thinking about how i feel.
i think ppl can really change bcos of LOVE,
i told mx about it, and he said it was the POWER OF LOVE! -.-
LOL, he doesn;t understand la.
i am so damn moody today, sry girlfrens!
u slept for an hour in class! SHUANG!
today gt rehearsal, someone called and spoiled my mood!
i was still happily joking wif my girlfrens lol, suddenly
that stupid phone call almost made me cry.
he said i change? who is the one who change?
when i think of how he talked to me, i felt so pissed/sad/angry?
i dunno.
morning something already made me so angry, after sch also.
seriously, 2008 sucks lik fuck, pls!!!!!!
can i die?
i jus don't belong here.
nobody seems to care.
they can laugh, joke, play.
leaving you alone.
i am used to it.
nobody even bother to ask.
yea, forget it.
i didn't did well for my tests,
i didn't pleased my mum wif so many things,
i turned bad,
i am not GUAI,
i am so useless,
i am starting to lose hope in myself.
when i get angry, ppl will say that i am petty.
if i cry, ppl will say i am getting ppl's attention.
when i am crazy, ppl will say i hab mental problems.
wat can i do?
i dunno whos's the angel, who's the devil.
ppl tend to say, " u can turn to me of u faced problems"
but actually the fact is that, they are jus kpo-ing!
who are my true frens?
where did they go?
i need a hug, but no one's avaulable.
i need someone's shoulder, no one's available.
i need a listening ear, i dunno who to trust.
i need someone to let me vent my angers on, no one.
even chocolates can't help.
now, chocolates are so bitter to me, i dun feel the sweetness.
ppl might sae i am a SIAO ZHA BOR, mood swings so fast.
but maybe i am jus sensitive,
even my pri sch report card by my form teacher says so,
but wat can i do?
i hav no one to turn to, my mama is jus so crazy,
when i wan to sms, she will ask.
when i tok on phone, she will ask me to sleep.
when i chat on msn, she will ask me to stop.
sometimes even if i hav ppl to tok to, i can;t.
my mum dun listen, she has a own problems too.
am i gonna tok to the wall?
tok to the bear?
or i jus pull any passerby on street and i pour everything to him or her.
i dunno wat's happening to me seriously.
one day, u will see me in mental hospital.
or maybe tmr u will jus attend my funeral.
or maybe visit me in the hospital.
or maybe look for me everywhere, but i am nowhere to be seen.
don worry, i am dying soon.
byebye.