You always admire what you really don't understand.
Please love me or I'll be gone.
Jocelyn Tan
23 March 1994
i always fall for anything and everything
that i know its impossible for me to have them.
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Tuesday, July 29, 2008, 7/29/2008 04:34:00 PM
我想听听你的心 ♥
raaa!
i don't know how am i feeling now!
suddenly i can be so happy, jumping around,
the next minute, you will see me emo-ing.
it's just all about you you you and you.
i believe even my friends would get sick
of me everytime talking about you,
but i will die if i never talk about you.
yeah, i know this is crazy.
and i don't even know when i started getting so crazy over you,
and why?
don't ask me why.
i would just ans you,
"because i feel comfortable and happy with him"
i don't know what's so great about you,
to make me so crazy,
when i can't see anybody else,
but just you.
sometimes how you reply me,
can really make me think alot...
because i never knew what you are thinking.
never.
you are so secretive,
or maybe i should say, you can really hide your own emotions.
i don;t know why i am always so patient,
waiting for your reply,
your reply is always so long,
maybe after hours.
and yet your reply could be so short,
maybe less than even 10 words?
i don't know why i can be so patient with you,
but not other ppl.
i tend to always awaits your msg,
waiting for you to talk to me,
i admit,
i do be disappoint at times.
tell me why i feel like crying,
when i just saw someone that look like you,
having lunch with a girl,
i know it's not you,
but i don't know why i am so afraid it was you.
and now, i am so afraid to hear the truth,
to see truth.
really.
i really don't know where i stand in your heart,
but i am sure where you stand in mine.
although i do know that everything i do,
is so meaningless,
but as long as i try,
i have that tiny bit of confidence in myself.
i do mind alot about what you have to say,
hence, i am always giving in to you,
you do make me laugh at your stupidness,
and you do make me cry at your coldness.
i do get jealous,
i do get worry,
i do get angry,
i do get sad,
i do get happy.
sometimes i asked myself,
do i have the right to get jealous?
to get worry for you?
i myself don't know about the ans.
i am not sure about you.
i've never always ask for more from you,
cos i believe that's enough.
i am not asking anything back in return,
just allow me to love and care for you.
no matter what i get in end,
even if its a scolding from you,
a slap from you,
i am happy with what i got.
i am always joking with you,
that's because i don't know how to be serious with you,
i don't know whether you like it anot,
i am always afraid i would be irritating to you,
but sometimes, i just have to try my luck.
falling for you is easy,
loving you is not easy,
confessing is the worse,
i wouldn't risk our friendship,
or maybe i am not even your friend,
or maybe more than a friend,
i don;t know,
and i don't wish to know.
don't tell me the ans if its a bad news for me.
i don't know what's stopping me from approaching you,
maybe i just mind how you feel,
cos i believe you mind how your friends see you,
how your friends tease you.
i don't know about anything,
it's just what i think.
everyone hopes this isn't true yeah.
i hope so.
but seriously, if you really feel more comfortable this way,
i'm willing.
although i am willing,
but did you even see how hard i work?
forget it. nvm.
i am trying my very best,
hoping to see you smile every single moment,
you always seem so busy,
i don't even know when you are free to even speak to me,
but if i don't take the initiative,
we wouldn't talk.
that's something that can't happen.
because i need you.
you wouldn't know how important you are,
but i believe,
one day without you,
is one day human is without water,
after a few days, i do be dead.
that's why i named you MR. NEwater!
it's nice,
or maybe you find it lame,
but sometimes this is the only way
i can show you how much i need you.
everything i do, reminds me of you.
i know i always get a little random at times,
but blame him,
he decides my mood.
Labels: i should be happy with what i have now