You always admire what you really don't understand.
Please love me or I'll be gone.
Jocelyn Tan
23 March 1994
i always fall for anything and everything
that i know its impossible for me to have them.
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Wednesday, September 16, 2009, 9/16/2009 04:53:00 PM
Jae Beom's life in Seattle?
This is written by Jay's dad's friend. I am a parent of someone that is close to Jaybum's age. Watching what has been happening these past few days, I have built up some confidence to say a few words.
I have been business partners with Jaybum's dad in Seattle and am a Korean-America who has been living here for 30 years. I have known Jaybum since he was a little kid and have watched him grow throughout the years. Also my kids have been going to school with him since pre-school and so they are quite close. Thus, I think I know a lot about Jaybum's family.
Jaybum's house in Seattle is near a beach called Edmonds and is in a prospective middle-class neighborhood. This house has been built for 40 years, but Jaybum has lived here ever since he was born for over 20 years.
In the parking lot aren't BMW's and Lexus's, but rather there are cars that are about 5-10 years old. Just recently they just leased a car from Hyundai Dealershop for an Elantra, but after Jaybum's situation, they had to return it.
In their house is a 37 inch Sony TV that has been there for 10 years. All the computers in their house are very old and about to break, and the best computer they have is a notebook that a fan had bought for Jaybum.
The reason i am telling you all this is because I wanted to show you how Jaybum's family life style is not fake nor ostentatious, but rather humble and normal for a middle-class family.
After Jaybum came back from Korea, about 2 days later Jaybum's dad told Jaybum that he should study music and went out and sweating from the weight of the it, bought and brought into the house a 15 year old electric Yamaha piano that was $300 just for Jaybum.
Without any complaint, Jaybum took and practiced with that piano,a nd thinking of how I bought my son a Roland piano for $5000 made me so embarassed.
On Friday night Jaybum's dad and I got together to drink some beer and talk until 3AM, and all of a sudden tears dropped from his eyes and he began to share. He felt so bad for Jaybum.
For the past 5 years, no one knows how much Jaybum suffered from frustration and hard work, and so many times when he so much wanted to go back to Seattle, he always fixed his mindset and practiced for long hours, but now right as he gained so much popularity, he escaped to seattle in just 4 days, and that really breaks my heart.
Coming home from Korea, for those long hours on the plane, how much did he have to suffer and think in his mind?
In the beginning of August, I remember when Jaybum came to Seattle for a quick visit. Because Jaybum's immature younger brother was not listening to him, I remember what Jaybum said to him.
"I want to go out and meet my friends like you and go out and have fun like you but do you know why I am going through all of this and working hard? Its because of you and our parents! Why can't you be more thoughtful of what you do!"
In the car I asked my daughter who is the same age as Jaybum "Yuri! What does 'Korea is gay' mean?" "It means that Korea is stupid or annoying, we say it when we're tired or annoyed".
Even when my daughter and I fought when she went through her teenage years, she used the word 'hate' a lot. "Dad i hate you!" Just because she said that would i have to kick her out of the house?
During that time, I believe that Jaybum did not understand the Korean culture, and had a hard time adjusting, while the people who translated what Jaybum said on his myspace translated in a very wrong way because they don't know that that is just how teenagers speak in America.
I don't understand how what he wrote as a teenager has anything to do with betraying Korea in any way.
How can someone who really hated Korea work so hard for their family so they can live better lives?
Us Korean-American's do not see America as a place just for money. We think of America as a new start where we have more opportunities, while our hearts are still with Korea and we want Korea to thrive.
During the 2002 World Cup instead of watching it at home my friends and I went to a sports bar and watched it in order to spread interest in Korea and soccer. When Korea put in a goal we alls screamed for joy and the American people who had no interest in Korean soccer seemed interested.
Even during the WBC, instead of watching the Major League we urged the Americans to watch Korea's games and those poeple who have Nokia phones and not LG or Samsung, we went and talked to them on why they wouldn't use a good Korean phone.
Don't these little things show how much pride we have for Korea? Even more than the pride of those overseas, we feel like we have a lot of pride in our country. Because of what a teenager wrote 4 years ago, i don't think that it was right to accuse and point fingers at Jaybum when he didn't mean anything like that, and cause him to be kicked out of Korea. That is not called having pride in our country.
Everyone, I urge you all to take a step back and think of what has happened in the past week, and also i urge you to have a big heart and embrace our young Korean-American who is trying so hard to live out his life and give him another chance.
I am not asking for you to put out a red carpet for him, but all I ask is for you to help Jaybum not feel embarassed or guilty anymore, and instead helpp him think more comfortably and have a warm heart for him.
During these past few days when the netizens said biting remarks about Jaybum, I want to say thank you to Boom for standing up for him and being brave. Boom still calls Jaybum everyday to check up on how he is doing.
Right now, Jaybums parents are in panic mode, and do not pick up the phone if it not someone they know.
Jaybum visited his old breakdancing studio when a black kid recognized him and put a camera up to his face and so he had to hurry up and just go home.
He hasn't even been able to go to the church he went to all his life because he's still embarassed and guilty and disappointed in himself, so he hasn't been going out anywhere and just been staying home.
Seeing all of this, i feel so bad for him and am heart broken.
Last saturday, my family and Jaybum's family went to a friend's chinese restaurant in order to brighten everyones mood. Although he wasn't jumping for joy, being his first dinner outside since he came to Seattle, we had a good time and Jaybum's mood got a little better and more comfortable.
I asked him "Jaybum, do you wanna go back to Korea?"
"yes..but i'm not sure."
i cried when i read this,its sad.
My poor JaeBeom! ):
i hope you are feeling better now!
its okay if you are still not sure of whether you should go back to Korea,
just rest well there alight?
Time heals.
And i admire Jay, especially the part when he talked to his brother and how hard working of him to practice the piano at home.
Jay! don't have to feel embarassed, guilty and sad! Go to the church, maybe you will feel better. Don't keep yourself at home, this isn;t an punishment, this is an "holiday trip" for you to enjoy and relax yourself! (:
This is in Singapore's newspaper, MY PAPER!
i didn't see it! my mum always bring home one copy, maybe she didn't take when Jay's news was inside. ):
kHottest put on ads to criticize JYP.
"A company who threw out someone's life does not have the right to carry out Korea's culture."
2PM fans have taken another step and have put out an advertisment in a newspaper, severely criticizing JYP.
2PM's fan union called 'Underground' have made a statement with this advertisment saying '4 years worth of hard work going down the drain by a withdrawl in 4 days is too short. 2PM fan union Underground asks for Park Jaybum's withdrawl from 2PM to be reversed."
The fans put out an ad on the 14th strongly asking to reverse his withdrawl. They said how much of a waste it is for his 4 years of work, to when he debuted in 2008, to all disappear in 4 days by being taken out of 2PM.
The fans have hand written letters, done newspaper ads, boycotted cds and had silent petitions so far.
p/s: 2PM boys are feeling better? saw several pics of TaecYeon, WooYoung, Chansung,
all with smiles on their faces?
saw a piece of news that says that there's new light on Jay's case.
Maybe there really is?
i learnt this during Chinese lesson, 要乐观才不会觉得悲惨! (:
Labels: you left me in tears.