You always admire what you really don't understand.
Please love me or I'll be gone.
Jocelyn Tan
23 March 1994
i always fall for anything and everything
that i know its impossible for me to have them.
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Sunday, January 03, 2010, 1/03/2010 01:48:00 AM
IS THIS A...CONSPIRACY?
its 2:00am now. exactly, but by the time this post is published, it may not turn out to be so.
i don't know what to blog about,
but i just wanna blog about.
can't totally agree that the start of 2010 is pleasant for me.
not because i didn't went out to countdown, i think i enjoy it at home.
because RAIN's hot. okay no, SHINee and 2PM too.
okay no, not because of them, i just don't have the mood to go out.
and the first day of 2010 .
BAD DAY.
Don't wanna talk about it, don't want another war.
sick of it.
But something made me super proud of myself is...
i think i changed.
maybe nothing big, maybe this change would be just temp,
but i think i'm proud of it.
Do you believe me if i say i dont love SHINee, 2PM, BEAST anymore?
ahhh.. its true, and its not. half half.
ever since i'm back from Korea,
i don't love my comp that much.
trust me, i can go without the comp for more than a day,
in the past, i need the comp everyday.
now, i can just lie on my bed, walk around aimlessly around the house,
and i just don't feel my attraction to the comp anymore.
or to put it like this,
i don't feel that attraction i have in kpop that much anymore.
i mean, i still scream for them, i still do watch their videos,
jump around like a crazy girl, blah blah blah,
but not so extreme anymore.
in the past, i save close to hundreds of pics (Jonghyun's, 2PM's, SHINee's...)
but now, i don't.
i don't visit their fansites now, i think for weeks, i didn't visit,
and if i do, i just look around and i don't start saving or whatever.
even SHINee's visit to Sg next month, i din't know about it,
Huimin told me.
and instead of feeling excited that my baby is coming,
trust me, i'm all stressed out.
maybe this change might not be a good news to my YI JIA REN,
but this is really my life now,
although i didn't use the time for studying,
i just slack around at home.
i still love my babies alot,
but maybe not so "FAN-GIRLY" anymore.
Honestly, i hope this change can last as long as possible.
don't ask me why,
but somehow, i love this change.
p/s: alright, i will stop here,
i forgot i got to wait up early tmr!
p/s: Tell you a secret, Before 2010 starts, i'm already looking forward to the end of it, to 2011.
serious. and now i so want 2010 to end asap, because i'm planning for 2011 when i......
sometimes there might really be a someone that can make you forget everything that's important to you.
and eventually, you would realise the importance of the someone.
although that someone might seems so far away and impossible.
and i can't believe you can become my motivation.
and hopefully this motivation can help me achieve my goals,
and bring me back to...
Labels: HE's the reason